Counselling: My Experience

This is my own personal experience with counselling, the questions I wish I had asked myself, this does not apply to everyone and people do have their own experiences too. 

I started counselling about four months after my mum suddenly passed away, I thought at the time counselling would solve all my answers, I would sit in a room with a stranger for an hour a week and talk about everything and I'd be cured, I'd be happy. 

Naive of me I was. I was hoping that this dark void within me would be solved.

Counselling actually opened many doors to issues I never even realised I had, which was quite a big shock to the system.

When I first started with my counsellor, it took me a long while to actually get anything out of it. I missed sessions and didn't really get much out of it. I'd always feel worse coming out then when I went in. In hindsight this was because I wasn't ready. I think counselling is only beneficial if you are ready to talk and willing to open a lot of doors that may not get closed. 

After a while, I slowly was ready to focus on counselling and start healing.

I went in thinking I would just talk about mum and all the feelings that arose however it turned to be a lot more intense and many things within my life that were deep-rooted in me also arose.

Leaving sessions I'd feel a big release but also I'd feel very emotionally drained and tired. Contrary to what people may think, it is actually really exhausting letting out your emotions, many that may have been lying in your subconscious for a long time. 

It's incredibly important to go into counselling with the idea that it won't cure you, it won't solve all your problems and you won't feel better within a few sessions. It is a very long process, counselling aid's your healing, it helps knowing someone is their to listen and not judge. 

Over time I came to the realisation that I would forever live with these issues, but counselling helped me deal with how to deal with the issues. It also made me aware of why I acted in a certain way, or the root cause of my mannerisms. For example, I learnt the triggers of my panic attacks and learnt how to try and maintain it rather than engulf my whole body. 

Counselling was so worth while but only once I was invested and accepted I would not magically be cured and all my problems would disappear 

It was really hard leaving my counsellor, we had built a strong relationship and it was one I didn't want to say goodbye to. But it was important for me to decide when to walk away. You should be in control of your counselling path. 

I left my counsellor nearly two years ago and I do still struggle, and sometimes I wish I could go and chat with her, and maybe I will go back to counselling. 

It is so important to talk about how you are feeling, if you do feel of low-mood, or struggle from other mental health traits, talk to your parents, a close friend, a doctor and get advice. There's chat lines you can also call (like the Samaritans) if you do not want to confined in someone you know. You are not alone, and it is not weak to open up to someone. 

- Meg 

(My DM's are also always open if you just need a friend to talk to)